I’m writing a story inspired by the fairy tale of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, but I’ve hit a plot hole.
Briefly, a couple who want a child decide to have one by IVF. They have a little girl they call Molly. They are well off people, the father being a successful business man.
Sadly, Molly’s mother dies in a car crash. Her father, Michael, is devastated, but eventually, after a few years, meets and marries a beautiful, if selfish woman who has a child, a boy called Sean. Lisa, the second wife overhears Michael saying he’s going to leave the business to Molly, but will ensure that Lisa has enough money for her and Sean to live as they are used to.
Lisa is also becoming jealous of Molly as her beauty is growing as Lisa’s is fading. Lisa plots to get rid of her step-daughter and persuades Sean to take a boat to France and push Molly overboard in the middle of the Channel. But Sean can’t bring himself to do this and they land in Fecamp, France.
Sean grabs Molly’s bag and runs back to the boat, starts the engine and leaves.
Milly has no means of identification, no money and no phone as they were all in her bag. She is befriended by a young man who takes her back to the house he shares with 6 other young people.
Molly finds the British Embassy is in Paris but she has no money to get there. So she agrees to do cleaning and some cooking for the others, who are all working.
Now, here are the plot holes.
Why don’t the others lend her a phone to phone her father?
Why doesn’t she go to the police?
I thought of 2 possible solutions,
I could move the time from the present day to, say, 1960s and have them living in a hippy commune. No mobile phones.
Molly could fall chasing after Sean and bang her head, and has no memory of who she is or why she’s there.
Which do you think would be better? Although the first doesn’t explain why she doesn’t go to the police.
Do you have a better explanation for this problem? If so, please let me know in the comments box. I will be ever grateful to you.
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Dragons Rule OK. V.M.Sang (author) 
Plot twist, what if her step mom is a modern day witch and sends her into the mirror?
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Yes, that’s something I’ve not thought of. I would need to go back and mention it earlier, though, I think. Maybe she used witchcraft to get Michael to marry her, or she got him involved and Molly didn’t like it, so was reluctant to contact him. Hmm! 🤔
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Or, she makes a spell to make Molly invisible unless standing in front of a mirror? So Molly can’t get help, and the men she finds herself staying with can’t help because they can’t exactly go to the cops and be like “aye so we found an invisible chick in our house help” lol
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An interesting idea.
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Hi Viv, this sounds like a fun story. There could be various reasons why she would not go to the police. She could be fearful for her life and not want to be returned to her family until she understood more about the situation. She may not have a full understanding of Sean’s actions and why he behaved as he did. She might not want her father hurt if he loves his current wife. She might really like one of the seven friends. She might be pleased to have an opportunity to strike out on her own and want to make the most of it. Young people don’t always take the most responsible path. She could even be angry with her father for putting her in this position and decide not to call him for a while.
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Here are some ideas:
Maybe Lisa has some sort of influence over the police, such as a corrupt relative in high places.
I recall from the original myth that the father dies. So maybe Michael is in a state where he cannot respond (like a coma) after Lisa attempts to murder him. Maybe a forged will could put Lisa in a power of attorney position.
Perhaps Sean could tell his stepsister not to contact them for a while so that together, they can trap Lisa somehow (I take it he doesn’t like his mother at all).
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In the original story, Andrew, the father is the king. It’s the mother who dies. Father then remarries and 2nd wife becomes jealous of the daughter’s beauty and arranges to have her killed.
Good idea about Sean telling her not to contact.
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Oh. I guess I was thinking of all the other adaptations, where the father seemingly dies after remarrying, which gives the stepmother absolute power and no one to defend the heroine.
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Ah! I see where you are coming from. I forgot that bit. Apologies.
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It’s all right.
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The IVF link is clearly an important one that cannot be ignored; Sean making off with her bag does not make a great deal of sense (sans context); Molly temporarily not knowing who she is might be the best way out because she should otherwise be able to contact her father – if not the police. The question arises though why the young people do not seek help for her but prefer to use her as a servant. This IVF link is tingling for attention … was it originally done legally?
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IVF was done legally. They are well off and can afford it! I take ;your point about the others using her as a servant, though.
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A few thoughts (don’t know if they’ll be helpful):
Must Molly be taken in by a group of young people? Might be simpler if they are an old couple, or possibly illegal migrants, who would not have a phone and would avoid the police. And having Molly be injured in the process of being dumped by Sean would explain why she can’t get away. Plus not speaking French would also complicate things.
I hope you work it out!
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I had the young people to link in with the 7 dwarves in the original, although, as it’s not an actual retelling, more a story inspired by Snow White. I thought it more likely that 7 young people would be living together in a large house.
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Oh, that’s right. I forgot that detail. So maybe a group of people, but must they be young? There needs to be a good reason for no phone or contacting authorities.
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I don’t suppose they have to be young. After all the dwarves were young. I made them young because I couldn’t see older people sharing, but I’ve now thought of moving the timeline to the 60s and making them a hippy commune.
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I like the idea of putting the story in the 1960s. I think the amnesia-caused-by-a-bump-on-the-head device is used too frequently.
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Thanks for your comment. I’m leaning towards moving it to the 60s, and the 7 young people are in a hippie commune.
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