During the writing of The Wolf Pack, I decided to eliminate a chapter where Carthinal took the practical test to end his apprenticeship and enter the world of full mages. This is part of that chapter.

I’ll post more of it eventually. Probably next week.

Please don’t judge it too harshly. It was my first ever attempt at writing a novel!

PRACTICAL

This was it.

The final and most important part of the test was to begin a little later than the others, at the fourth hour.

There were still six of them as all had learned of their success in the previous afternoon’s test, Carthinal and Ebrassaria gaining distinctions. (The elf had looked rather piqued to find that a mere half-elf seemed to be matching her efforts in the written tests.)

This time, instead of going upstairs to the room where they had done their written tests, they were escorted down many flights of stairs to a room well below ground level.

Their guide left them in a circular room devoid of furniture, but which boasted seven doors in the walls, including the one through which they had entered.

Six mages entered from the other doors and introduced themselves to the candidates. There was to be one mage to watch each candidate.

Carthinal’s examiner was an elven mage who introduced herself as Yssalithissandra. (Yssa for short she told him in a whisper, giving him a wink.) One of the examining mages gave them their instructions.

“You will each enter a different door, and have six hours to find the door to return to this room. There will be a number of problems and dangers for you to overcome. When you return, you’ll be assessed on the efficacy of your use of magic and how well you conserved your strength. We will also assess the way you solved any problems you will meet on the way.” He paused to wipe his glasses. You are allowed to take one scroll and one weapon with you, but no magical items.” He looked around the six candidates. “There is a real danger of death in the test before you. If any of you wish to pull out, now is the time.”

Carthinal looked around. No one moved, although Olipeca looked rather pale, and Grimmaldo looked decidedly green. No. No one was going to pull out.

They selected their weapon and scroll.

Carthinal chose to take his dagger, which he always had strapped to his wrist, and a True Seeing scroll, having decided it was quite possible that much of what was behind the door would be illusion. Even with that knowledge he knew that illusions could be deadly too.

They all moved forward as one.

As they reached the doors, Grimmaldo whispered, “Good Luck” to Carthinal. He did not have his usual cheery grin, and he looked decidedly nervous.

Carthinal wondered if he looked as scared and if they would all return through those doors.

The door closed and he was alone in the pitch darkness. He could see nothing at all with normal vision, so he looked around for any heat sources that may denote a living being. Towards the end of the corridor, he could see a vaguely humanoid-shaped red glow.

“Is this enemy number one? I’d better creep closer and see.”

As he came nearer, he could make out a distinctly hobgoblin smell.

“OK, I can deal with this without my spells.”

He released his dagger from the harness holding it on his forearm, and in the same movement threw it unerringly towards the creature’s throat. He was rewarded with a gurgle and saw the reddish shape slump to the floor, the redness fading as the body cooled in death. Carthinal quickly retrieved his dagger while he could still see it.

Now there was only blackness. No sign of any further enemies, but a few paces away from where the body of the hobgoblin lay, the corridor finished in a blank wall.

“What now?” he muttered aloud. “There must be a secret door somewhere. I’ve got six hours to complete this test, so there’s no rush. At least not yet.” He leaned against the wall to think, and as he moved his feet, he heard a scrunching beneath them and realised there were rushes on the ground.

“Torches! Yes!” Cardinal knelt and gathered a bunch of rushes. They were dry, so he set about making a torch. He knew if he set light to them as they were, they would burn far too quickly, so he plaited the ends where he would grip them, and left the tops free. He made a number of these rush torches, taking the time to do so, since he had no idea if he would find any more farther into the labyrinth, or so he surmised it to be.

After he had what he considered a sufficient number, he lit the first torch using the cantrip he had used to light the fires on his journey with Asphodel and Basalt.

It took a few seconds to light, and he thought it was not going to work, but there was a sudden splutter and the makeshift rush torch burst into flame.

The end of the corridor proved not to have any signs of secret doors. He searched twice to be sure, then slowly made his way back up the corridor towards the door through which he had entered. There was no sign of a door on the right hand side, nor, to his surprise, was there any sign of the door through which he had entered.

“Well that ensures we don’t go back,” he muttered as he searched the other wall of the corridor. “Ah! I knew there must be something somewhere!” He could see the very finest line in the stonework.

It was hardly visible, but his elven heritage had given him excellent vision. He wondered for a moment how non-elves would set about finding this door, but that was not his problem, so he put it aside. Mabryl had taught him to focus on the problem at hand and not worry about things he could do nothing about.

“That way lies death,” Mabryl’s voice whispered in his mind.

He also remembered similar instructions from his life in the gangs, before Mabryl had saved him.

It took only a couple of seconds for him to discover the mechanism that opened the door and then a portion of the wall swung inwards with a grinding sound.

“Kassilla’s tits!” he swore. “If anything’s in there, it would have heard that a mile away.” Ensuring there were no rushes to set on fire on the floor of this new corridor, Carthinal stubbed his torch out. He stood in the dark, searching the corridor for signs of life.

No red glowing figures were visible, nor did he hear any sounds. Wait! Was that a shuffling? No … Yes! There was something out there. He could see no heat sources.

Then he realised with a sinking feeling. One of his biggest dreads! Undead!

Well, they knew he was here, and he must be able to see them if he were to fight them, so he re-lit his torch. Sure enough, shuffling slowly along the corridor was a zombie. Carthinal’s mind worked quickly. He needed something more than his dagger here as it was unlikely that a single throw would stop the zombie. Zombies fought with their bare hands, hitting and clawing at their victims, but could do a tremendous amount of damage, especially to an unarmoured mage. He therefore could not risk getting into close combat with it.

A spell then, that was the answer.

Trying any mind influencing spell was no use as undead were generally immune to such spells, not having a mind to affect, so it was no use trying to put it to sleep. He decided to use small bolts of energy.

He quickly took the mana into himself and wove the pattern to absorb energy from the surroundings and transfer it into darts of pure energy.

Two silvery darts shot from his fingertips to bury themselves unerringly in the zombie’s chest.

It staggered and fell to the ground, twitched a few times and then was still.

“I hope there are no more of them! I hate undead, they give me the creeps.”

Carthinal was unsure why he was talking aloud. “Maybe for reassurance. After all, I could actually die in here.”

He quickly quashed the unpleasant thought, but like everything one tries not to think about, the idea kept returning. To try to stop it, he began to talk to himself again.

“I think I’ve been in here now for about an hour and a half. Time to find the door, time to make the rush lights, and two enemies to dispatch. Still plenty of time, but then, I don’t know, do I? I’ve no idea how far I have to go, or what I must face. I’d better move on.”

The corridor curved to the left, meaning Carthinal could not see very far in front of him. It was worse than a sudden corner, as there he could have stopped and looked carefully round, so he walked slowly and quietly along, his back to the wall, and paused every few yards to listen.

His progress was snail-like, but he was as sure as he could be that he was not running into danger unprepared.

The long curving corridor eventually ended with no further traps or enemies to be overcome, and then forked into two ahead of him.

“Now which way?”

He decided to toss a coin as no other ideas came to him. Heads, left, tails right. It came down heads, so he took the lefthand branch.

There was no sign of an enemy, but he moved with care.

The corridor ended in a blank wall.

And here’s a review.

D. W. Peach

4.0 out of 5 stars Plot-driven high fantasy quest

Reviewed in the United States on 12 March 2024

Verified Purchase

The first book in the Wolves of Vimar series opens with the burial of a king and his magical sword, and the sacrifice of twelve warriors whose spirits will protect his body from harm until the eight “wolves” come. This prophecy results, many years later, in a quest, as eight characters are sent by a duke to bring back the sword.

The book is divided into thirds. Part I takes its time introducing the characters who represent a variety of races including humans, elves, dwarves, and their half-elf leader, Carthinal. The group includes the duke’s entitled daughter Randa, a married horselord couple, and a young thief with a thick accent. The backstory for most of the characters comes through multiple points of view with some omnipresent narration.

Part II of the story begins the journey. The author’s attention to world-building is evident as the “wolf pack” wends their way across the land. Part III covers the journey home. The pace is moderate throughout with tangents for fun, humor, and a bit of romance. Much of the book’s journeying reminded me of a Dungeons and Dragons quest, with a variety of creatures offering challenges along the way including Yetis, dragons, bandits, hobgoblins, and other fantasy monsters.

The characters are distinct but for me, the book was more of a plot-driven read than an emotionally-deep character-driven one. Most of the characters don’t have significant arcs apart from Randa, the entitled duke’s daughter, and for that reason, I found her the most interesting. Though the first book in the series, it also stands alone well. Recommended to YA readers of high-fantasy quests who enjoy a leisurely pace, plot-driven stories, and encounters with otherworldly creatures and monsters.

If you would like to read The Wolf Pack, you can get it by clicking here, or on the book cover in the sidebar.

This link will take you to a page where you can buy the book from your favourite online store.

It is available in ebook, paper back, hardback and audio.

Did you enjoy this excerpt? Please leave your comment in the comments box.

This was supposed to be scheduled for Tuesday, but WP didn’t give me the usual option, but posted it right away! I cant find a way to unpublish it, either. So this is my Tuesday’s post early!