Tag Archives: aspholessaria

The Story of Goldie: A Journey Through Poverty Part 2

Artwork by me and Bing AI

“Come on.” Jack dragged her out of the door, pinching her arm as he did so.

“Ow!” Goldie shook him off as they descended the stairs. “What’ll happen to Peter?”

“Get switched. Prob’ly have a meal stopped, too. Shouldna ’ave kept money back. Mr Smith likes switchin’ ’e does. Don’t give ’im any chance to switch you. Do as ’e says, right and proper, and you’ll be a’right.” 

Goldie looked around. “What’s this place? Who lives in these rooms?”

Jack shrugged. “Mr Smith lives in one. Annie in another. The rest are Mary and her girls.”

“Mary said she wants me for one of her girls when I’m grown. What do her girls do?”

Jack paused on the stairs. “They’re whores. Know what them is?”

“I think so. A whore lived near us, before mamma died.” She sniffed and ran a hand across her face leaving a dirty smudge. “Lots and lots of men visited her. Mamma said she sold her body to them.” She screwed her face up. “I didn’t understand what she meant.”

They reached the door and Jack led her into the street. Rubbish blew past them, and the wind whipped Goldie’s hair into her eyes. A scrawny cat jumped onto a wall opposite.

Jack turned right along the street. Tall tenement blocks of houses rose on either side, cutting out the sunlight and making a corridor for the wind.

Goldie pulled her threadbare cardigan closely around her as she followed Jack along the familiar streets. As they passed one house, she paused, snuffling back tears. She turned to the boy. “I used to live there.” She pointed at the house. “We lived in a room at the back.”

“Did you have brothers an’ sisters?” Jack took her arm and pulled her away.

Goldie shook her head. “Papa went to heaven when I was very little. Mamma worked in a mill. She said I’d work there soon.” She sniffed. “I don’t want to work in a mill. Some of my friends got hurt real bad. They had to go under the machines to get bits of cotton. They call them sca…scave…scavengers.”

“Did you run away?” Jack asked.

Goldie nodded. “Mamma got poorly. She was being sick all the time and pooing. Our room smelled real bad. Then Mamma went to be with Papa in heaven.” She began to cry.

“Then Annie found me. I was very hungry and cold and she promised me somewhere to sleep and food to eat if I worked for Mr Smith.” Working for Mr Smith would be better than the mill.

Even if Mr Smith were a hard man, and it seemed he was, if she were a good girl and did as she was told, she would not get the cane.

Jack continued to lead her through the streets of the town.

Following, she found herself in a part of the town she did not know. The children sat on the ground opposite a church. 

Bells rang from the steeple calling the people to worship. 

Goldie noticed the gravestones surrounding the building. Her mother would not have the luxury of such. Goldie did not know what happened to her mother’s body. People came and took it away. 

A woman arrived to take her to the orphanage. The little girl had a fear of that place. Her mother had often threatened to send her there when she was angry.

Goldie looked around. This was where the ‘posh’ people lived.

The street was clean. Goldie looked at the houses. Most were tall with three stories above road level, and some had steps leading to a basement. Doors opened and people dressed in their best clothes flocked towards the church.

The men wore black or dark brown suits with white shirts and colourful cravats. High black hats were the height of fashion and every man sported one, removing it before entering the building.They shepherded their wives dressed in more colourful attire, although still fairly sober for church. Most of the dresses had bustles, but a few of the older women still wore the wide, hooped crinolines. Like the men, all wore hats.

They hustled their children into the church, barely looking at the two ragged children sitting opposite.

Goldie’s face fell. “What will happen if we don’t take anything back to Mr Smith? Will he switch us?”

Jack patted her on the back. “Don’t worry, Goldie. When they come out, they’ll feel they should do something for charity and then they’ll give us money. I ain’t never been here on a church day when I got nothing.”

The few passersby sniffed as they walked past, and one or two crossed the road. A couple dropped a few small coins in the children’s hats, but it was a  pitifully small amount. Then the church doors opened. The people spilled onto the road. A carriage drawn by a bay horse drew up and a family climbed inside.  The carriage trotted away.

People chattered outside the church. Goldie noticed the congregation beginning to disperse and was about to give up hope of anyone giving them alms. 

It was then that Jack stood. “Please spare a coin. Me and me sister is ’ungry. We ain’t ’ad nuffin to eat since yesterday morning.” He reached out a hand as a couple passed.

The woman searched in her bag and tossed a penny to the pair.

A little girl looked at Goldie. “Mamma, we can’t let such a pretty little girl starve. Give her something.”

The mother puckered her brow. “How do we know they will spend it on food? You know what these beggars are like.”

The girl looked shocked. “Mamma! You heard what the vicar said. ‘Jesus said when you feed one of these poor people, you are feeding me.’ And he said, ‘Suffer the little children to come unto me.’ Jesus would not have left them begging without giving them something.”

The girl’s father came up to them. “She’s right, you know.” He felt in his pocket and dropped a coin into the hat. Then he shepherded them away.

Jack looked into the hat on the floor. His eyes opened wide. “A shilling! He gave us a whole shilling!”

During the next few hours several more people gave them money, and when the daylight began to fade, they made their way back to the house where Mr Smith lived.

When he saw how much they had gathered, his face almost split with his grin. “I knew you would be good as a beggar, Goldie. Now go and get something to eat.”

I hope you are enjoying this serialisation of my story inspired by Goldilocks and the Three Bears.

I love hearing from you. Please leave your comments in the comments box.

If you would like to read some more of my writing, click on the book cover in the side bar to take you to a page where you can buy from the retailer of your choice.

Celebrating Halloween with Poetic Fun

Image by ApplesPC from Pixabay

As it’s Halloween today, I thought I’d write a little poem to celebrate it. We don’t do as much for Halloween in the U.K. as the people of the US do, but it’s beginning to creep in here. This year I’ve noticed a few people have decorated their houses.

Halloween

Witches gather their broomsticks
Putting on pointy hats.
Devils creep out from hell
As spiders build their webs.
Ghosts walk the streets
And skeletons leave their graves
Jack O’Lanterns grin
With fiery eyes that glow   

A cold wind blows the leaves
As we shiver in our homes.
The darkness seems to creep
Beneath the gap below the door.
Ghostly sounds are heard.
And the doorbell rings
We huddle together in fear.
What horrors await outside?

We creep towards the door
And open it with care.
The ghosts and skeletons jump
Towards us with a screech.
The witches cackle loudly,
Jack O’Lantern held up high.
Then come the words we know


Image by Nisse Andersson from Pixabay

This is a new poem, but if you enjoyed it and would like to read more. simply click on the image in the side bar.

Currently, Next Chapter, my publisher, has discounts for people who buy 2 or more books in a series from Google Play Store

  • 2 books: 20% discount
  • 3 books: 30% discount
  • 4 or more books: 40% discount

No coupon code is needed for these discounts: all customers who find Next Chapter books in the Google Play Store are able to use these discounts (as long as they buy 2 or more books in any one series at the same time).

Here’s a link to my One Poem a Day series if you are interested.

Woodland Inspiration: A Free Verse Poem

Rebecca Cunningham has challenged us to write a poem about a favourite place with alliteration.

It is to be free verse and no more than 50 words. So here’s my offering.

Woodland ways
Wend past flowers.
Winding paths walked
Without worry.
Wind whispers to willows
Waving branches.
White wood anemones 
Water at the heart of the wood
With wavelets kissing the shore.
Woodpecker, willow warbler
Wing through trees.
Wonderful. 

And here’s a link to Rebecca’s website so you can view the other poems.

Click here

Review of Devilfire Book 1 of American Hauntings by Simone Baudelaire

Overview.

This exciting paranormal romance is set in Texas in 1886. Quite a page turner. There is some explicit sex, but not too much. 

I am pleased to see that it is book 1. That means I can spend more time with these characters, and see how they continue their development, and if Gavin can come to terms with his own unacknowledged talent.

Although I don’t usually enjoy graphic sex scenes, there wasn’t too much in this book and it didn’t bother me. What I can’t stand is what seems to be a story simply to carry the sex scenes.

And I love the cover.

It is an excellent read.

Blurb

Texas, 1885

In the aftermath of a deadly fire, Dr. Gavin Morris, on hand to render aid to the few survivors, runs into someone he does not expect. Medium Annabelle Smith has arrived to help the dead cross over. Despite the grim work, the two find themselves immediately drawn to one another.

But this one chance encounter does not end their unexpected connection. Time and again, fate draws them to scenes of destruction, until they can no longer pretend that the fires are natural…and cannot deny that their connection also transcends the ordinary.

But Annabelle is not all she appears. One of her many secrets may be what saves them… or what ultimately leads to their deaths. Are Gavin and Annabelle doomed to burn with more than passion?

This western historical/paranormal contains strong religious themes and graphic sex scenes.

Story.

A mysterious fire breaks out in the southern states of the US destroying a complete village and killing most of the inhabitants.

Doctor Gavin Morris is trying his best to help the dying and injured when he meets Annabelle Smith. She appears to be speaking to the ghosts of the dead.

Gavin does not believe her, but she explains how she has been called here to help the dead on their way. She is emaciated and obviously poor, so Gavin feels sorry for her and wishes to help.

Not to give too much away, there are more inexplicable fires, and the pair decide to investigate. During their investigations they grow closer. 

They find themselves in a terrifying situation, being stalked by an entity far more frightening and dangerous than the ghosts.

Characters 

I liked the main characters. They had their struggles with both the paranormal and the romantic feelings developing between them. 

They developed nicely throughout the novel, with Gavin reluctantly accepting Annabelle’s work, and the fact of the ghosts.

Secondary characters were also well developed, including the ghosts, some of which had to be told they had died. They also kept their worldly characters, especially one rather unpleasant woman.

Writing

I thought that Ms Beaudelaire gave us a clear feeling of both time and place. I had a clear picture in my head of every setting, and believed in the characters.

No grammatical mistakes, nor typos.

I give this book 5*

  My ranking of books. In order to get a particular number of stars, it is not necessary to meet all the criteria. This is a guide only.

5* Exceptional. Wonderful story. Setting well drawn, and characters believable–not perfect, but with flaws. Will keep you up all night. No typos or grammatical errors.

4* A thoroughly enjoyable read. Great and original story. Believable setting and characters. Very few grammatical errors or typos.

3* I enjoyed it. Good story. Characters need some development. Some typos or grammatical errors.

2* Not for me. Story not very strong. Unbelievable and flat characters. Setting not clearly defined. Many typos or grammatical errors.

1* I hated it. Story almost non-existent. Setting poor. Possibly couldn’t finish it.

Have you read any of Simone Baudelaire’s books? This is the first one I’ve read of hers, but will certainly be looking out for more.

Memories. Washing Day

Image by David Grimshaw from Pixabay

I was putting my washing on the other day and suddenly thought about how washing clothes has changed since my grandmother’s day.

This wasn’t in the 1900s, but the 1950s that I remember.

My grandma had what she called a ‘dolly tub’. This was a metal barrel with an open top. I don’t really know what it was made of, but probably galvanised zinc. At least, that’s what it looked like.

First she would boil some water, then pour it into the tub. This would take several pans as she didn’t have a boiler.

Earlier we’d grated soap. There was no such thing as washing powder, which, of course, is a detergent, not a soap. The soap was allowed to dissolve in the hot water before the clothes were added.

She then used a ‘posser’ to pound the clothes. This was hard work. Her posser was copper, but earlier ones were wood. These wooden ones looked a bit like a three-legged stool (but with more legs) on a long handle. Grandma’s was like an upturned bowl with a lid and holes drilled in it to allow water to escape.

If clothes were particularly dirty or stained, she would rub them on a washboard with more soap and perhaps a scrubbing brush.

After the clothes had been pounded clean, they were put through the mangle. This had to be turned by hand, and it squeezed the excess water out.

Then the dolly tub was emptied and clean water added. The clothes were put back and once more possed to rinse the soap out. They had to be rinsed at least twice, preferably more. Once again passed through the mangle. 

When all this was finished, grandma put out the clothes line and hung the washing on it. Pushing it up with a clothes prop, which was a long piece of wood with a v cut out at the top.

Washing day was a strenuous day in those days.

Then she got a washing machine.

Unlike those of today, it loaded at the top and had a paddle to churn the clothes. No more strenuous possing. It still had a mangle on the top, but it was run by electricity and not by hand turning a wheel. Clothes still had to be hung out in the garden to dry though, or hung on a clothes horse around the open fire if the weather was wet..

Washing took a whole day. No wonder women in those days stayed at home and didn’t go out to work. No labour saving devices!

Jovinda’s Court Presentation at Aspirilla: A Noble’s Exciting Experience


I asked Jovinda to tell us about her visit to Aspirilla, the captial of Grosmer, when she went to be presented at court. Here is what she told me.

Me: Hello, Jovinda. I hear you recently went to court and met the king, queen and Crown Prince Gerim.

Jovinda: Oh yes! It was so exciting. I’d recently celebrated my sixteenth birthday and so I was now of age. When girls of the nobility, or from other important families, come of age, they usually get presented at court.

Father received a letter with the Royal Seal on it. He wouldn’t say what it was and took it to his study to read. I was jumping up and down, wanting to know what it said, but he made me and Mother wait until dinner time to tell us.

When he read it out, my stomach turned over. I was included in the guest list! I could hardly eat my dinner for excitement.

The next day, we went to see Madame Frimb, the best dressmaker in Bluehaven. She made a wonderful dress in green velvet. It set off my auburn hair perfectly.

The dress had a high neckline with small pearl buttons sewn around it. The buttons ran down the centre of the bodice and the sleeves stopped at my elbow with pearl buttons around the cuffs. The skirt flared from my waist to give my feet room to move during the dancing. And it had more pearl buttons around the hem.

I was so excited I hardly slept that night. Nor the others before the banquet. I was dreaming of dancing with the prince. I thought I would look so beautiful that he would fall in love with me at first sight.

That didn’t happen, of course, but something even more wonderful did. I met my true love, Nolimissalloran, know as Noli. He was an elf, and so beautiful.

But that’s another story. If you want to learn about what happened, you need to read Jovinda and Noli.

It’s available in all formats by clicking the link on the name, or the book cover in the side-bar.

Here is a short extract from the book:

Jovinda and her parents stood at the top of the stairs leading down to the reception room in the Palace. Jovinda scanned the room looking for Prince Gerim. The prince was not quite sixteen, but would be at such an important banquet as the heir to the throne. She frowned slightly as she noticed a young elf watching her as she descended the stairs.

Ellire had decided the best style for her dress for the banquet would be, not like the elaborate dresses they saw hanging in Madame Frimb’s workroom, but a simple style.

Jovinda saw the green velvet fabric and fell in love with the colour. Ellire agreed it would look good on her, and then went to discuss a style with Madame Frimb. The dress she now wore had a high neckline with small pearl buttons sewn around it. The buttons continued down the centre of the otherwise plain bodice with sleeves that stopped at her elbow. They also had pearl buttons around the cuffs. The skirt flared from her waist giving room for her feet to move when dancing, and more pearl buttons graced the hem. She wore small pearl drops in her ears and a white orchid in her hair.

The family walked down the stairs as a butler announced them. Jovinda stared around. The stairs descended from the balcony where they had entered, and flared out towards the bottom. A red carpet ran down the centre. Large floor to ceiling windows to her right opened onto the palace gardens, and doors carved with vines and fruits stood open on the opposite side. Torches in sconces lit the room, and glinted on the gold-leaf that covered the cornice. More gold covered a few chairs scattered around for those unable to stand for long, and at the opposite end of the room was a dais with two thrones, again, covered in gold leaf.

A waiter brought a tray of drinks.

Jovinda took a glass of Perimo, a sparkling wine from the islands, as she chatted with many of her parents’ friends and acquaintances, feeling very grown up.

Suddenly, a horn sounded. Everyone stopped talking and looked towards the stairs. The Royal Family entered and made their way through the crowd to the dais.

As they passed, people bowed their heads or curtseyed.

Once the king and queen settled onto their thrones, the butler announced the first of the young people to be presented.

As it was her first social occasion, Jovinda was one of those young people. When the butler called her name, she looked at her father who mouthed “Go on, Jo”.

Her mother gave her a little push to start her on her way.

She took a deep breath to try to calm her racing heart, and ascended the dais where she curtseyed to the king and queen.

The king smiled and his eyes twinkled. “We are delighted to meet you, Jovinda. Enjoy the occasion. There’s nothing quite like your first ball.” 

Then she moved on. Prince Gerim smiled at her and shook her hand. “Pleased to meet you, Miss Jovinda.”

Jovinda curtseyed. He’s quite good-looking. I wonder if I can attract his attention? He may even ask me to dance. I wonder what kind of girls he likes?

If you decide to buy and read this book, I would be grateful for an honest review.

Warning: It contains adult themes that some might find upsetting.

Trees

I love trees, the older and gnarlier (I have a squiggly red line saying this isn’t a word. Well it is now!) the better. Here are some pictures of trees I’ve come across.

ASCI

This was an oak tree behind our house in December, as you can see by the date. It was still green!

I had some other photos of trees that I wanted to add, but can’t find them. Still, these are all lovely.

What do you think about trees? They are important, but also beautiful, but too many can be a nuisance and block the sun. There is a poplar behind out garden that cuts the summer sun to our garden. Every few years, the council pollards it, and what a difference it makes to us and our plants!

Slack Use of Language

First of all, apologies for no post last week, but I had visitors and didn’t manage to find the time.

I have noticed a decline in the use of the English language for a while now. It is especially concerning in people who should have an excellent knowledge of the language. People such as Radio and TV correspondents, journalists and well-educated experts.

On Sunday there was a news item on Radio 4 about another eruption of the Icelandic volcano that’s currently active. I was on my way out of the kitchen when I heard the ‘expert’ say a word that made me turn back and ask, “Did she just say ‘vigourent’?”

My nephew, who was staying with us, said, “Yes, she did.”

Vigourent!

From an ‘expert’.

I looked it up, thinking it might be a word I don’t know, but it doesn’t appear to be.

This morning, on Sky’s scrolling news, it said, “The Princess of Wales has been seen in public for the first time after her operation at a Windsor farm shop.”

It would have been slightly better with a comma after ‘operation’, I think, but not much.

What’s wrong with, “The Princess of Wales has been seen at a Windsor farm shop for the first time since her operation”?

Syntax has gone. The latter happens all the time. Ambiguous statements.

As to making up words–yes, I know Shakespeare did it–it confuses the issue. When The Bard made up a word, it was obvious what he meant from the context. And he was William Shakespeare! An expert in the use of words.

Finally, there’s a confusion amongst some people as to when to use the past participle. (This is often amongst sports reporters). I hear , ” He has went,” or “She has ran,” and other similar things all the time.

Grrr!

How do you feel about the slack use of language? Let us know in the comments box.

Thank you for reading.

The Wolf Pack Characters

I’ve been having fun with Microsoft’s free image creator. Diana Wallace Peach posted some she made using it on her site, Myths of the Mirror. I thought I’d try to create something of the characters from Book 1. The Wolf Pack.

Here they are:

This is the half elf mage, Carthinal. He is an apprentice at the beginning of the book, just about to take the tests that will let him enter the ranks of mages. He is someone whom the ladies all go for. He has some feelings that he is inadequate, although he becomes the leader of Wolf, the name the group give to themselves.

The elf, Aspholessaria, known as Asphodel. She is a priestess of the goddess Sylissa, whose remit is life and healing. At the beginning she is a novice. She is strong-minded and will always follow her conscience, no matter what the consequences are to herself. That is the reason for her being sent from Bluehaven to Hambara where there is a stricter leader.

The dwarf, Basalt. Met on the road to Hambara. He has a somewhat grumpy exterior, but inside he is caring. He left his homeland when he was cheated out of his part of the family mine’s inheritance by his brother and wife. An excellent metalsmith, he can also carve wood.

Fero. He is a ranger from south of the Great Desert. He was turned out of his home when he refused to follow his father in his sandal-making business. A man of the outdoors and wild places, he cannot live for long in a city. His skin I would have liked to be a little darker, but not black. A bit like someone from India, or the middle east.

Davrael is the son of the chief of the Swooping Hawks tribe. He is a Horselord, and has lived all his life on the plains beyond the Western Mountains. He and his wife, Kimi, eloped when their parents refused to allow them to marry.

This is the nearest I could get to Davrael. His facial tattoo is actually a hawk with wings over his brows, head down his nose and talons on his cheeks, giving him a rather scary appearance.

Kimi is Davrael’s wife. They were married after they eloped. She is a settler, belonging to a group of erstwhile wandering Horselords who decided they could breed better horses if they didn’t wander.

She is a rather plain girl, tiny in stature with brown hair and eyes. Davrael calls her ‘Little Mouse’. She can’t get over how she has won the love of Davrael.

Randa is the only child of Rollo, Duke of Hambara, and heir to the duchy. She considers all beneath her except others of the nobility, and especially foreigners and other races. Hence there is tension in the group, especially since she thinks she is the natural leader and not Carthinal. She is an excellent horsewoman and is the only one who can ride and control her beautiful black stallion, Storm.

She decides to follow Carthinal and his friends when they leave Hambara to search for Sauvern’s Sword, which is prophesied to be needed soon to save the country.

Thad is a very young thief, around 15 years old, from the Warren, the poor quarter in Hambara. He met Carthinal when he stole a figurine from the mage. Carthinal managed to persuade him to get it back.

Thad followed the group because he felt he was in danger in the city.

This is the main cast of The Wolf Pack. I was reasonably pleased with the results, although they are all rather handsome. If I was disappointed in any, it would be Kimi as the picture is a little too pretty.

If you want to have a go, here’s a link. It’s great fun.

https://www.bing.com/images/create

If you would like to find out about the adventures of these people, click on the book cover, The Wolf Pack, in the side bar.

Review of Someone Close to Home by Alex Craigie

Blurb

Talented pianist Megan Youngblood has it all – fame, fortune and Gideon.

But Gideon isn’t good enough for Megan’s ambitious, manipulative mother, whose meddling has devastating repercussions for Megan and for those close to her.

Now, trapped inside her own body, she is unable to communicate her needs or fears as she faces institutional neglect in an inadequate care home.

And she faces Annie. Sadistic Annie who has reason to hate her. Damaged Annie who shouldn’t work with vulnerable people.

Just how far will Annie go?

‘Someone Close To Home’ is a story of love, malice and deadly menace.

Overview

This is a gripping book. I couldn’t put it down, and when I had to, I was anxious to return to it.

Story

Megan Youngblood is an only child in a disfunctional family. Her parents don’t get on and she spends much time looking forward to visits to her loving grandparents from both sides.

When one of her grandparents gives her a piano, she finds she has a talent, and devotes much time to music. Then her beloved grandparents die and she feels bereft. Crying at the end of her garden, she meets a sympathetic boy of her own age. They strike up a friendship.

Her mother is a snobbish and manipulative person who takes over Megan’s life, organising her appearances as a child prodigy, playing the piano at concert venues, around the country at first, then worldwide.

Her friendship with Gideon develops into love, but when a famous actor shows an interest in her, her mother begins her machinations once more.

The story is told in a series of flashbacks from Megan, who is in a care home after a severe stroke that leaves her unable to move or speak. 

Characters.

Megan is a young girl at the beginning of the book. She is eager to do what her mother wishes. Her friendship with Gideon helps her to overcome her timidity.

In spite of this, as soon as she sits in front of a piano, all her fears disappear. She becomes a famous concert pianist.

Throughout the book, she develops into a more confident person.

Gideon is a kind, likeable young man. I was rooting for him to win Megan’s love.

Megan’s mother is a snobbish, manipulating woman. Selfish on the extreme, she looks on Megan as a means to boost her own influence.

The staff at the care home vary from caring, efficient to downright cruel. One member of staff in particular, Annie, Megan particularly fears, but we don’t find out the reasons until near the end of the book.

There are other characters whom I don’t want to incude here as commenting on their character would be something of a spoiler.

Writing.

I cannot fault Ms Craigie’s writing. It is very readable and she immerses us in the scenes extremely well. I can visualise the places quite easily, like the yew tree outside the window in the care home that Megan spends much time watching. And all the screws, drawers, tiles etc. that she spends endless hours counting.

The novel is told in first person present throughout, with flashbacks as an immobile Megan remembers her past life. 

I think it might have been an idea to put the flashbacks in the past tense to distinguish them from the current time. It didn’t confuse me, but it would help to distinguish the two timeframes.

I give this novel 5*

     My ranking of books. In order to get a particular number of stars, it is not necessary to meet all the criteria. This is a guide only.

5* Exceptional. Wonderful story. Setting well drawn, and characters believable–not perfect, but with flaws. Will keep you up all night. No typos or grammatical errors.

4* A thoroughly enjoyable read. Great and original story. Believable setting and characters. Very few grammatical errors or typos.

3* I enjoyed it. Good story. Characters need some development. Some typos or grammatical errors.

2* Not for me. Story not very strong. Unbelievable and flat characters. Setting not clearly defined. Many typos or grammatical errors.

1* I hated it. Story almost non-existent. Setting poor. Possibly couldn’t finish it.